Weight Loss, Dieting & Obesity

Dieting Jokes & Humor - Page 1.

The Newfie's Diet

A "newfie" was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a newly discovered diet.

"I want you to eat regular meals for 2 days , then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 more weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the newfie returned, he shocked his doctor by having lost nearly 60 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions ?"

The newfie nodded, "I'll tell ya though, by jeasuz, I thought I was going to drop dead dat 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean ?"

"No, from all the friggin' skipping!"

Food Group Colours Diet

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot.

My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems.

He said just think in colors...

Fill your plate with bright colors...

+ greens,
+ yellows,
+ reds,
+ etc.

So I went right home and ate an entire bowl of:

And sure enough, I felt better immediately.

I never knew eating right could be so easy.

.

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